Round Up: April Fools Jokes From Around the Cycling Industry

We all need some laughs once in a while. Here are some of the jokes we've spotted from around the bike industry:

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Ground Keeper Introduces the Trail Keeper Collection


PRESS RELEASE: Ground Keeper Custom

The art of trail building has long been a coveted art of the mountain bike world, but it consistently suffers in one key area... INNOVATION. That's why we took it upon ourselves to give back to the trail building community through the release of four new products that surely will step up your maintenance routines and show off your style to your closest building buddies. This is the Trail Keeper Collection.


The Beer Keeper and Hand Keepers integrate seamlessly to provide unparalleled comfort and steeze.

We partnered with renowned trail builders, The Shire Crew, to develop a collection of premium trail building accessories. The Lip Keeper ensures jumps last through the harshest winters; a classy step up from your standard painter's tarp. The Hand Keepers prevent pesky callouses while pairing with the Tool Keeper to provide scary precision and grip. Lastly, The Beer Keeper introduces revolutionary technology, preventing decarbonization and making sure you're never called out by your fancy IPA-drinking friends.

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Pembree Announces Ride Concepts Interlock System



In partnership with Rob Warner, former World Cup DH Winner, and Ride Concepts, PEMBREE are proud to launch the new Interlock System – The biggest advance in flat pedal technology since the traction pin.

After more than 12 months of factory visits and product testing, the patented Interlock system is available, thanks in no small part to a collaboration with Ride Concepts. “The metal membrane in the sole of the shoe created by Ride Concepts has allowed us to revolutionise pin positioning. The results were outstanding and beyond what we expected; A flatter pedal, more security, and it’s faster.” commented PEMBREE Founder, Phil Law.

Rob has always used Flat Pedals so was regarded as the ultimate development partner for this project. “I’ve seen every part of a mountain bike change, but the one thing that hasn’t changed is the flat pedal. That is until now. The Interlock is game changer” – Rob Warner, 1996 World Cup round Winner.

It's like being clipped in, without being clipped in!

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Dharco Announces New Reversible Jersey & Underwear




Designed with our patented GROSS Technology 'Greatest, Rankest, Overwhelming Sensory System', to cut down on laundry. One jersey, two styles, less washes - winning!
The double-sided jersey is double the style, and double the fun.

Stay tuned as next up, we're working on the Double Sided Undies...both disgusting and awesome.

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NOBL Launches New HE37 Wheels


Here at NOBL, we’ve been working tirelessly for years to advance carbon rim technology in the pursuit of giving our valued customers every advantage possible when out on the trails. Today, we’re proud to announce our most exceptional product yet, the HE37. These rims share the same profile and specs as our TR37 rims, with one distinct and incredible advantage: They’re infused with Helium.

The brilliant engineers at NOBL HQ have discovered a way to infuse Helium directly into the carbon layup, trapping layer upon layer of this glorious gas between every carbon fiber filament. The results were unbelievable at first, the rims became lighter than air. This new technology will increase acceleration, make climbing easier, improve liveliness on the trail, and is guaranteed to double, or even triple your bunny hop height. The HE37 rims are only available in 32h and feature the same lifetime warranty as the standard TR37 rims.

Give us a shout for more details!

Riders: Paul Berger, Liam Palfrey, Chris McLeod

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BikeShow Announces PizzaStow Rack



PRESS RELEASE

Given our background in family-made bike racks for vans and beyond, the next logical step in our journey led to a second passion: pizza.

The PizzaStow combines all of our experience, technology, and best design innovations into a simple, elegant, and entirely useful rack for your bike-shaped pizza cutter. Finally pizza cutters can be stored or transported safely and securely. Bungee, strap and faff free!

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VHS Launches "Shush in a Can"




VHS: Introducing Silent Spray

We are excited to announce the arrival of our latest product "shush in a Can" That's right, we have managed to formulate the perfect combination of silence into compressed air. Safe for any and all use out side of existing VHS products. Spay away any and all sounds from loud bikes to crying babies.


100% Real Reviews

"The best thing since the grim doughnut " - Pinkbike
"AMAZING! Why didn't we think of that?" - WD40
"Better than anything we have done" - Chester Greenwood, creator of ear defenders
"I haven't slept this well in years! Thank you VHS!" - Parents everywhere
"Now we can start working even earlier!" - All local construction

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Kenda's New Kenda Infinity


PRESS RELEASE: Kenda

Utilizing our 60 years of heritage and experience in producing bicycle tires we would like to announce the arrival of an all new category of bicycle tire. Aimed at riders looking for that extra unpredictability required for crash avoidance and recovery training.

The Kenda Infinity utilizes Kenda’s all new Variable Tread Pattern technology (VTT) to create a tire like you’ve never seen before. VTT combines the best of Kenda’s tread patterns developed throughout the years into one discontinuous tire tread pattern creating the desired result of washout opportunities at random.

The Kenda Infinity also utilizes another brand new technology from Kenda; Variable Casing Technology (VCT). Like VTT, VCT combines casing structures and characteristics to allow for the desired inconsistencies in stiffness, rollover and ultimate ride feel.

Developed in partnership with some of the top riders in cycling today, the Kenda Infinity fills a segment the community has been pining for but were too afraid to ask. The Kenda Infinity will keep you on your toes and hopefully not on your face.

“Every rider has those “OH CRAP” moments when their wheels slide out from under them, the problem is it’s difficult to train for these moments. With the Kenda Infinity I’ve never felt more uncomfortable on every twist and turn but that is how you grow as a rider, you get out of your comfort zone and your better for it in the end”

-Kenda Sponsored Athlete and Jorts Endorsor Ryan Standish

The All New Kenda Infinity: Predictably Unpredictable

Available April 1st, 2022 at the link below.

https://shop.kendatire.com/product-p/infinity.htm

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Rock Machine Bikes Becomes Rock Marine Boats

Press Release: Rock Marine

Bicycle manufacturer Rock Machine is tackling supply chain issues in an unconventional way and entering completely new waters with the Rock Marine brand!

Although it may not seem like it at first glance, the cycling industry has a huge overlap in sharing technology platforms across industries. And it was the advanced technology, in-house development centre and manufacturing capabilities that led to the creation of the new brand - Rock Marine! Fun, durability, affordability, these are the key features of Rock Machine's cycling models. It is no surprise that these factors have become the main pillars of Rock Marine. Another important element in the design of brand new models of boats, is the growing segment of e-bikes, which opens the door to the world of cycling for many people. The electrification in cycling has spilled over into the yacht and boat market.

Key Features


Fun to ride, fun to sail! - "Fun" geometry used in cycling models by Rock Machine was the inspiration for the creation of a completely new and unique hydrodynamic design that allows perfect control at all speeds and will make you smile with every nautical mile.

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3E Platform - Easy Entry & Exit - Rock Machine's low entry and exit frames are the basis for the same approach to vessel design > patented modular entry platform design allows the boat can be entered without the need for additional assistance.

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Port Dive - The sail maker - the powerful Port Dive powertrain is based on the Sport Drive version of the electric bike drive system developed by the specialists at Rock Machine Bikes. The Port Dive Ivo2 comes with a lithium polymer battery with a capacity of 1,276 Wh!

Two models:


Rocky_revolution in sustainability!

Robust construction based on natural materials is the basis of this durable boat. The production technology is calculated for maximum sustainability and subsequent recycling. 78% biodegradable materials are used which, thanks to the treatment with the latest version of the nanocoatV3 nano-protective coating, can withstand all weather elements.

Rocky is equipped with the latest type of outdoor skeleton - Stoneshell_VI, which blends perfectly with nature and does not disturb the marine horizon.

Detailed specification:
 Total length (m): 8.7
 Width (m): 2,9
 Draught (m): 0.4
 Weight (kg): 2,400
 Internal height (m): 1.97
 Number of cubicles: 4+2
 CE classification: C
Power unit: the Port Dive evo2 with a lithium polymer battery with a capacity of 1,276 Wh!


Stony_explore the horizons!

Our new type of boat, designed for multi-day cruises, with a solar roof for a feeling of infinity with every payment. Excellent sailing characteristics are combined with a spacious and ergonomic interior. The cork deck is characterized by ample space for safe movement and rest for the crew. The highest quality materials used and the high quality of workmanship are the reason why Rock Marine boats have the ambition to become the most sought-after novelty among demanding customers!

Detailed specification:
 Total length (m): 14
 Width (m): 2,9
 Draught (m): 0.6
 Weight (kg): 2,900
 Internal height (m): 1.97
 Number of cubicles: 6+2
 CE classification: C
Power unit: the Port Dive evo2 with a lithium polymer battery with a capacity of 1,276 Wh!

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Guerilla Gravity Re-Launches the GG/DH... as an NFT


Guerrilla Gravity is excited to relaunch a classic in a Neo-classical world. The GG/DH was GG’s first model and people always comment “when is it coming back???” So here is your chance to own a modern piece of history…

For the re-release the bike has been updated with the most advanced geometry available:


With this setup riders have been able to ride twice as fast, go twice as big, and have 100% less fear, as proven by extensive ride testing in the metaverse.

A small batch run of GG/DHs are available to purchase… as NFTs. One of each classic color is available. So put on your tinfoil sailing cap and head out to the Open Sea for your chance to spend “real” crypto coins on a bike that allows you to ride as fast and go as big as your imagination ever dreamed.

SEE ALL OF THE "BIKES" HERE

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The Rise Introduces the ADjustR: World's first Adjustable-Length Crankset


Introducing the ADjustR: World's first length adjustable crankset. In an era where number one priority is to achieve optimal performance on all terrains, The Rise came up with a solution that allows you to have the most torque when you need to go uphill, and unmatched stability when it's time to go back down at high speeds.

Equipped with 2 swiss-made Maxon high-torque micro-electric motors, the ADjustR crankset allows you to adjust the length of your crankarms while riding via wireless Di2 technology. By the simple touch of a handlebar-mounted button, adjust the length of both cranks simultaneously to your desired pre-configured lengths to help you get the most of any riding surface. The future is now!

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Stanton Reveals Secret Custom Tubing


Revealed - the secret to Stanton's playful feel

If you've ever ridden a frame from UK-based Stanton Bikes you'll know they have a certain X-factor feel. With custom tubing in either steel or titanium, combined with founder Dan Stanton's focus on playful geometry, we create bikes that put a smile on your face with every ride. Today we reveal one of the trade secrets behind the bespoke tubing we specify from our suppliers - the magic ingredient that makes a Stanton feel as though it has fun running right through it.

This high-precision, uniquely-crafted material is exclusive to us and has taken many years of development to get to the product we reveal today. Made from either 3AL-2.5V aerospace-grade titanium, Reynolds or 4130 steel, each piece is crafted for optimal performance and maximum joy.

To see the award-winning bikes we turn these very special tubes into, visit us at www.stantonbikes.com

*DISCLAIMER* Stanton Bikes cannot be held responsible for anyone deciding to cut their frame in half to see if their bike is manufactured from the secret tubing. Trust us - it definitely is. Honest.

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Unior Launches the First Smart Tool


Following years of extensive research and development at the Unior Bike Tools Advanced Tooling Division, we are pleased to announce our 1st ever Smart Tool. Having identified the most common and most troublesome problem facing professional mechanics, we set our most senior product managers the following brief. 'Never again will a 10mm socket go missing'.

Using Smart Technology and good old fashioned brain power, we have solved this age old problem once and for all.



Available for preordering now.

www.uniortools.com

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Starling Cycles Bears All In 'Starling Fallacy' Print Journal

Starling Cycles, the UK based steel bike manufacturer, have announced a new 36-page print journal that addresses what they describe as "Starling's deepest, darkest secret".

Said to be "part memoirs and part admission", the book is intended as a means of redemption for brand-owner McEwan.



Born in the depths of the NSMB forum, the Starling Fallacy is Starling's deepest, darkest secret.

It lurked in wait, exposing the core of the brand's being; its modus operandi; its original sin. But like all secrets, it would never rest, never die, never cease. It would always be there, in the shadows, threatening the heart of Starling Cycles.

And so, Starling Cycles founder Joe McEwan has decided that enough is enough. Like all good internet conspiracies, he knew that the fallacy was based in truth. And so, it’s time to come clean.

The game is up. Starling is no more. Steel and single pivot is not, in fact, real.



The Starling Fallacy - Available To Order Now

To mark the final chapter of Starling Cycles, McEwan has decided to lift the lid on the brand with a limited edition, 36-page, hardback coffee table quality print journal entitled the ‘Starling Fallacy’. Intended as part memoirs and part confession the book will allow McEwan the opportunity to come clean and for, he hopes, redemption.

“Being honest” says McEwan in the opening chapter entitled ‘Got Fired? Fire Up The Welder’ “I just needed a job after I got sacked from my Aerospace gig".

"I’d been mountain biking a couple of times so I thought I’d give it a shot. I wasn’t sure how to make any money from it, but I knew that would come pretty easily”.



Nailed It.

Joe admits that he quickly spotted a gap in the market: “there were frame builders all over the place and it looked pretty easy. You just copy some geometry from another brand and make it a bit longer, lower and slacker. Then you stick a few tubes together and Bob’s your uncle.”

Joe’s enthusiasm wasn’t held back by a lack of resources and, he admits, inspiration was drawn from the world around him. “I only had the shed to work in because the wife wouldn’t let me weld in the house, so I worked in there. I bought a welder from eBay and prayed I wouldn’t blow up the garden. And yeah, I needed a name for the ‘brand’ and was in a rush to get to the pub on a Friday so I just picked the first thing I spotted out of the window, a Starling on the garden fence. Nailed it.”

Joe quickly realised that his new brand had exposed something bigger “They honestly couldn’t get enough of it. It was like people saw the shed, saw how basic the bikes were and were willing to pay double what they would for a proper bike. It was nuts. I jacked the price up after I’d built a couple and the cash just came rolling in.”


My First Million.

Frame design was obviously critical and the chapter of the book entitled 'Mo Pivots, Mo Problems. One Pivot, Mo Money' bears all.

“Kinematics? No idea. I basically just looked at a load of old bikes online and copied those. People seemed to love the idea of a bike with loads of brake jack, disposable shock bushings and suspension that didn’t work when you pulled the stoppers. It was like the more basic you made it, the more they wanted to convince themselves it would work."

"Once I’d made the suspension as absolutely low-tech as I possibly could, I had one final brain wave: ‘What if we make it out of the oldest, heaviest, thinnest, easiest-to-snap material possible?’ Steel was the obvious choice. The internet went bananas for it and I made my first million”.


McEwan, currently based in The Bahamas hopes that by sharing his story riders will see the true value of simple, steel, single-pivot bikes and continue to believe the hype. Once sales of the limited edition print journal 'The Starling Fallacy' are complete, he intends to sell the business to a major bicycle manufacturer.

The Starling Fallacy is available to order now at StarlingCycles.com on a strictly limited edition basis.

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Industry Nine presents MX'er - A New Cycling App

With everyone jumping into the Private Equity game, we couldn't wait for the opportunity to generate enough cash to partner with a Silicon Valley firm to bring this disruptive match-making technology to the cycling industry. Countless hours of research and development went into the creation of this app and we are stoked to launch this game-changing platform right as the mountain bike world fully embraces mixed wheel sizes.


Introducing MX'er - The cycling app that connects you with singles in your area looking to mix up their wheel size!





We're hoping that the success of this app from all the ad sales and in-app purchases will allow Industry Nine to scale to a place where our Series C investor group will be able to yield maximum returns, allowing our exit to be a Scrooge McDuck-like dive into our money vaults. Our lasting hope is our employees will be able to replace all the old, beat down Tacomas and Subarus in the parking lot with fresh TRD Pros and Outback Wilderness Editions.

For more information head over to Industry Nine's website

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Muc-Off Announces Invisibility Jersey

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Versus Introduces Bubblegum-Infused Tires



Versus Bicycle Tires is proud to announce our Bubblegum Rubber All-Terrain Tire (BRATT).

Maximizing grip is one of the biggest challenges in making good mountain bike tires. Anyone who's ever stepped on gum in the parking lot knows that it's one of the stickiest things ever... which got us thinking, what if we injected bubblegum into our tire rubber?

"We deployed teams of schoolchildren to help us process the gum, then collected it & mixed it in at the factory," says Versus founder, Scott Hultgren, "the result is amazing, it grips like gum to a desk."


To protect ourselves from child labor laws, we only have a few of these available on the site. We're also giving a set of tires (these or any) to the email list in the month of April, so go to the site to sign up for the email list, check more about our B.R.A.T.T. line or Versus Tires in general.

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Dolly Parton Inspires Kitsbow's Latest Top


Press Release: Kitsbow

Kitsbow is excited to unveil the Tennessee Teal Limited Edition Icon, inspired by the Queen of Country, Dolly Parton.

Offering the fit and function you know and love, but with Dolly-inspired sparkle and shine! This Limited Edition Icon is guaranteed to dazzle those you encounter on the trail, or during your night out on the town!

Chase your dreams, be your own boss, and climb your own ladder with the Tennessee Teal Limited Edition Icon. As Dolly Parton says, “Rhinestones, makeup and hair are fun, but it’s what’s on the inside that makes you a truly special one.” Look good, feel great with this new Iconic Kitsbow Icon.


Features of this new limited edition Icon include:

* genuine rhinestones for nighttime safety
* hater-resistant shoulder panels so dirt and negativity can slide right off
* Cropped length for a honky tonk good time
* Sewn in the USA

Side note: Dolly had nothing to do with the design or creation of this Icon.

Check out Kitsbow's latest Icon introduction here.

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Gira Sykkel is Proud to Announce Rip'n'Grip


Press Release: Gira Sykkel

From the creators of last year's GPX, we now have the Rip'n'Grip rider retention system, a groundbreaking technology that lets riders retake control of their passion.

It's been several years of research and testing in collaboration with Fox Racing, Reverse Components, DyedBro, Revel Bikes and Unparalell shoes, but hard work leads to results. This new cross-brand standard is unlike anything seen in the mountain bike scene before, and it allows you to customise your ride, AND the way you ride. Full freedom of contact point placement, and full control once you're wrapped in.

Rip'n'grip will have you breaking KOM's, personal demons and hearts, with new found control, low weight and no sharp edges.

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Yoann Barelli's New Modular Hardtail Design

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Cyclinic's Take on the Hardtail Conversion


Press Release: Cyclinic

New products come to market all the time, but every now and then something special comes along. Something special that actually has a genuine place in this world, something that has an actual benefit to the real world riders amongst us. We're not talking about the latest suspension gadgetry that makes you ride faster, nor some data acquisition device that tells you how to modify a compression ratio, we're talking about a product that each and every rider can use, whether that be a need or a want. Around the world there is an upwards trend towards longer and slacker hardtails, after years of a marketing push towards a 'bigger is better' mentality, specifically aimed at selling more ever increasingly capable enduro bikes. However, let's face it - They can just suck when the terrain points upwards. The modern hardtail may be the direct answer, however for many of us, a second bike is not always an achievable outcome. This is where 'Huck' comes into play. Huck is a dead-set revolutionary new product that is something you will want to own.

What is it?

Huck (Hardtail Universal Conversion Kit) allows any rider to effortlessly and cost-effectively transform their down country, backcountry, forward country, enduro, e-enduro or e-mtb to a hardtail. Yep, it's that simple, a universal hardtail conversion device that allows any suspension bike from any category to be modified to a climbing machine, a super commuter, or just a snappy pavement belting or kom hunting beast, whatever you're into. User's have also found it to be super helpful when their 'suspension' is away getting serviced, and they have swapped in 'huck' in its place. Some have even reportedly never looked back, selling their freshly serviced shock and enjoying the new found hardtail freedoms that huck brings.

How does it work?

It really is too simple. Huck sits in place of the frame's shock. Ie, remove the shock from the frame, and install Huck in its place, utilizing the frame's existing mounting hardware, and bolts. Huck uses a regular 1/2" eyelet (same as all your common Rockshox, Fox and many other big brands), so you can simply swap out the hardware from the shock, into the eyelets of Huck. Once installed, tighten up the frame's mounting bolts to the frame's torque specification if known (or to the click in your wrist is fine), and get ready to be blown away. That big long travel slug of a bike will now pedal like a hardtail, and will climb like it never should have before. Before you know it, you'll be selling your body armour to make way for more lycra, and entering the next local XC race.


One of the amazing features of Huck is its versatility. There are two models available in its first release, covering the majority of demand. There's a model for Trunnion or standard application, and users can easily change the eye to eye length by using the telescopic function built into the chassis of the Huck device. The Trunnion Huck can be two different lengths (185mm or 205mm), and the standard Huck can be set in 3 different lengths (190mm, 210mm or 230mm). Changing the length to the desired specification is quick and easy, using the 'slick-pin', developed exclusively for Huck, and providing a fast, and secure way to change the length to suit. Slick Pin is a ball-lock style pin that allows for effortless changes in the length of each Huck device. This means that one Huck device can be used across several of the bikes in your shed. Using both your thumbs, you effortlessly depress the ball locking button with one thumb, and drift out the pin with the other. Re-install the pin into your desired hole, making sure the length matches your bike's specification.

Slick Pin:

This video shows how quick and easy it is to make on the fly geometry adjustments. Change the head-tube angle by up to 2 degrees in seconds! Available in both standard and trunnion versions.

Materials:

Tubing: Carbon Fibre Square tubing manufactured to aerospace specification HS-CP-5000
Eyelets: Trunnion Mount and Eyelets manufactured from AL-7055-T77 aerospace grade high strength aluminium alloy.
Slick Pin: Stainless Steel Grade 69
Weight: 100g

Specification / Fitment:

Suitable for any frame with the following shock sizes. (Available in two options)
Trunnion: 185mm or 205mm (Stroke not relevant)
Standard: 190mm, 210mm and 230mm (Stroke not relevant)

Pricing: $USD100.00, $AUD$139.00, $NZD149.00

Available now to order HERE.


User testimonials:

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We will continue to add to this article as we spot more jokes throughout today.

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